![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
I haven't posted anything in ages, but today seemed auspicious, so here it goes.
As part of my daily spiritual practice, I usually ask both Freyr and Freyja for their counsel for the day. Today Freyja's was the rune Hagalaz and Freyr's was Isa. In addition, I also drew an ally of the day from the Tarot: Nine of Swords.
It may be quite a day. Hagalaz is a rune whose name means "hail." It is the flood of frozen emotion that first destroys but then melts into something beneficial. Isa is the word for "ice." To me, it means lack of change and stagnation, particularly but not exclusively in the domain of emotion. The Nine of Swords is also known in some circles as the Lord of Cruelty. Depending on whether you read from the Crowley-Harris deck or the the Rider-Waite-Smith deck, it's a picture of nine swords (duh) with drops of red poison or blood dripping from them, or someone sitting up suddenly in bed as if awakening from a nightmare. I think of it as unnecessary mental pain, anguish or mistreatment, particularly but not exclusively toward myself. It's an odd ally, right? I love when that happens; it makes me think about it more than I would the "easier" allies.
At some point, it popped into my head to do some bibliomancy. When I get these flashes of intuition, I usually go with them, so I chose the first book I noticed on my bookshelf, Les fleurs du mal by Charles Baudelaire. The first poem I opened to: Le tonneau de la haine. (=The Cask of Hatred). Grand. He's a copy with an English translation for you non-geeks:
Le Tonneau de la Haine
La Haine est le tonneau des pâles Danaïdes;
La Vengeance éperdue aux bras rouges et forts
À beau précipiter dans ses ténèbres vides
De grands seaux pleins du sang et des larmes des morts,
Le Démon fait des trous secrets à ces abîmes,
Par où fuiraient mille ans de sueurs et d'efforts,
Quand même elle saurait ranimer ses victimes,
Et pour les pressurer ressusciter leurs corps.
La Haine est un ivrogne au fond d'une taverne,
Qui sent toujours la soif naître de la liqueur
Et se multiplier comme l'hydre de Lerne.
— Mais les buveurs heureux connaissent leur vainqueur,
Et la Haine est vouée à ce sort lamentable
De ne pouvoir jamais s'endormir sous la table.
— Charles Baudelaire
Hatred's Cask
Hatred is the cask of the pale Danaides;
Bewildered Vengeance with arms red and strong
Vainly pours into its empty darkness
Great pailfuls of the blood and the tears of the dead;
The Demon makes secret holes in this abyss,
Whence would escape a thousand years of sweat and strain,
Even if she could revive her victims,
Could restore their bodies, to squeeze them dry once more.
Hatred is a drunkard in a tavern,
Who feels his thirst grow greater with each drink
And multiply itself like the Lernaean hydra.
— While fortunate drinkers know they can be conquered,
Hatred is condemned to this lamentable fate,
That she can never fall asleep beneath the table.
— William Aggeler, The Flowers of Evil (Fresno, CA: Academy Library Guild, 1954)
I don't have a pithy one-line summary of the poem, but I know which parts resonated most with me.
I found an affirmation that also resonated with me, "Love dissolves cruelty and fills the world with beauty." I think that's what I'm going with today. It seems as if it would be a auspicious day for me to forgive past cruelties and even accept them as gifts that have taught me and made me a stronger person for my highest good. Naturally, since I'm in übergeek mode, I went to my favorite online etymology site to choose between forgive and pardon and ultimately chose forgive.
Wish me luck, courage and strength, darlings. It's only 24 hours, right?
I'm having a glass of her home-made limoncello, which is basically a lemon tincture.
I'm quoting from Cunningham's Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs here:
Lemon
(Citrus Lemon)
Gender: Feminine
Planet: Moon
Element: Water
Powers: Longevity, Purification, Love, Friendship.
Thanks, Mom!
“Well, no, I would never date you, but I would like to still be f*$# buddies.”
Oh yes, dear ones, the apple of my eye for the last year and a half or so really said that to me the other day. Before anyone gasps, clutches their pearls and reaches for the black salt, this is something I have suspected for a quite a while, but he’s never really had the wherewithal to tell me. Usually I get some vague mixed message coupled with reassuring affection, and this has only been a suspicion that plagues me. Hearing it was hard but liberating at the same time.
I was so proud of myself for responding quite calmly, “You know, I’m a pretty good catch. Why would I have sex with someone who would never date me?”
I was not at all ready for his laser-like and sincere response: “You know, you really don’t carry yourself like you believe that.” He was right, of course, but I really didn’t think anyone else could see that. Obviously, it’s how I keep meeting guys with his fatal flaw. It’s pretty much the story of my romantic life in my 30’s. And now with just a few months left in my 30’s, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve been selling myself short all this time, but I was really startled that this guy knew it.
I’m in the dark half of an Adjustment year, which is no picnic, I’ll tell you. To make things even more interesting, I have taken an office within my beloved Brotherhood of the Phoenix that is aligned with the planet Mars. Suddenly I’ve gone from quiet and easy-going to, “Look out! He’s got a sword, and he’s not afraid to use it!” I really have been working with my selling myself short in earnest since Samhain. I haven’t seen him since about then, because he’s been too busy feeling sorry for himself about the rest of his life in general and about someone who was “worth dating” in particular. He hasn’t seen the changes since then, even if I have. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have responded in September as I did the other day.
He went on to tell me what a great guy I am, which is true enough, and give me advice that I completely agreed with and had even figured out and implemented without him. I reciprocated. He actually seemed grateful for the wisdom I imparted to him about his current melancholy. I know that in our own way, we really do understand and appreciate each other. In most respects, except for the obvious divergence in the trajectory of our acquaintance, this is the man I have always wanted to meet. I suppose then that it is true that all sincere requests are answered, but the form is always unexpected.
One of the lessons of my recent shadow work is an awareness of this shard of myself, which apparently even dolts (and I say that lovingly) can see. I haven’t figured out yet how to change this jagged piece of myself, or at the very least buff some of the sharper edges. It may be work for the light half of the year.
Who is this Flower above me?
And what is the work of this God?
I would know myself in all my parts.
Be careful what you ask for, dear ones. All sincere requests are answered, but the form is always unexpected.
I am fortunate to be home in Michigan this week, eating my mother's cooking and digging for dirt on her treguenda. I could almost have driven a car in reverse and gotten here in less time than it took me on United Airlines, which, by the way, is the very worst airline in the world now that TWA has been subsumed into American.
ORD, for those who aren't familiar with those three cursed letters, is the airport code for O'Hare International Airport, which usually competes with an airport in Atlanta for the busiest in the world. It took me 12 hours longer to arrive at my destination than I planned. I did learn one very valuable lesson that I intend to pass along if you read on.
Let's go chronologically:
1:56pm In a text message, UA let me know that my flight would leave at 9:00pm, instead of as scheduled at 7:18pm. Okay. It was snowing like Hel, so I wasn't that surprised.
4:27pm Another text message. My flight now departs at 10:44. A late night but understandable under the circumstances.
I leave for the airport around 6, thinking I would still have a lot of time to kill at ORD before flight time. Unfortunately, as I was on the bus to the train I get another text message at 6:49pm letting me know that my flight would be leaving at 7:26, not 10:44. Oh oh. I'm screwed. There's no way to get there before departure time. In a panic, I call UA's 800-number and spent about a half an hour on hold while someone with heavy accent, probably in another part of the world, tries to figure out what I'm talking about and what he can do about my situation. The short answer is nothing. He recommends that I check with a ticket agent when I get to ORD.
I arrive at ORD at about 7:30 and wait in line with about a hundred fellow stranded travelers for right around an hour and a half to speak to a ticket agent. Here's the very important lesson: the ticket agent explains that the whole thing is my fault for ever thinking that I could rely on the delayed flight time. The expectation of the airline is that I would be there ready to go as if the flight were leaving as scheduled, even through they have told me repeatedly that it would not.
I begin to understand and really empathize with the energy of ORD last night: furious and frustrated, teetering on the brink of violence. Customers were angry. Agents were rude and dismissive. If you're familiar with Catholic dogma, the main difference between Hell and Purgatory is that you'll eventually get out of Purgatory. Everyone would eventually get out of ORD, but everyone was certainly miserable in the meantime.
The ticket agent offered to put me on stand-by for a flight this morning at 6:40am, but she couldn't check my bags. She seemed to think me ridiculous for asking. She did offer me a coupon for a hotel room, but I decided to go back to my own little bed for an hour or two and start the process over, which I did. As she tried to add me to the stand-by list, though, there was a problem. She made a phone call. It turns out that my flight hadn't actually left yet; UA wanted the gate for something else, so it boarded the flight and pushed it out on the runway somewhere, and it sat there for two hours before it left the ground. She actually giggled at how funny it was that it had worked out that way. I didn't see the humor at that moment, but I can laugh at it now too. Once my flight had actually departed, she had no trouble adding me to the stand-by list and gave me the excellent advice that I would have to be there very early.
I left my apartment again at 3am and was back in line by 4am. I waited in line again for 45 minutes but ended up a ticketed passenger with a seat assignment, which I didn't expect. It was a most welcome and pleasant surprise, the only one in the story, in fact.
By the time I got to the gate, there were 20 people on the stand-by list for a flight on plane with 50 seats. The gods truly smiled at me this morning. A gift demands a gift, I suppose.
We boarded the flight and there was a dispute over a seat. UA had given the same seat to two angry passengers, both of whom had been in transit since the morning before. One was asked to leave. Honestly, I was waiting for my luck to run out and be kicked off myself because the guy who lost the dispute was shouting about his frequent flyer status. It didn't happen.
The pilot made what I thought was a joke about having to wait for ballast because we hadn't brought enough luggage, which I thought was odd. It turns out that out of 50 people on the plane, only seven suitcases made the flight. Mine was not among them, even though I had checked it more than two hours before the plane left. UA was trying to figure out what happened to my luggage when I left their bossom at around 9:30 this morning. I will update my saga when and if my luggage arrives.
I am glad to be home, and I definitely won't forget the lesson I learned about my naive reliance on an airline's word. I hope you won't either.
So, here's an IM conversation between my mother and me:
me: Very good.
What's new with you?
Sent at 9:18 PM on Wednesday
Pam: nothing I guess. I found a source for orris root powder and much cheaper cardamom than Meijer's so it made my day
Sent at 9:20 PM on Wednesday
I thought she might be making me a love spell for . . . er . . . Christmas . . . er . . . Yule . . . er . . . la festa dell'inverno?
Mind you, this is the same woman who said to me after I came out of the broom closet, "Oh, that's nice, dear. Now, would you go to my herb garden and get me some fresh basil and rosemary, and a few sprigs of mint from the bush in the planter?"
Naturally, I have to mention the love spell gift later in the conversation and she tells me without missing a beat something like, "Sure, send me a good one, I think the moon's waxing now, isn't it?"
I think there's some strega action going on that I'm not privy to. How do I get invited to the treguenda?
So I got up this morning and made it to Ganesh Puja at Chitown Shakti. http://chi-townshakti.com/page4/page4.ht
It was time. The moon was right and even my own sleep cycle was right. A Ganesh Puja is an offering to Ganesh, the Breaker of Obstacles. http://indopaganproject.tripod.com/id22.h
Although the whole ritual was in Sanskrit, it was indeed very moving, and included a whole mala of the mantra, Om gam ganapataye namaha It was also at 5:45, so I'll keep this post extra short.
Sweet dreams, darlings.
- Mood:
sleepy
One of them told me I should quit my day job and just do that.
Another said he thought it would be "fake," but it was "right on the money."
The compliment of the day was, "you're so much more helpful than my guidance counselor."
I love it when a plan comes together.
I was sure it was the modem, so I replaced it. Damn, the same thing happened with the new modem. I gave into Comcast's (bastards!) repeated suggestion that I should have a service technician come out, but I was desperate, so I made an appointment. Then it dawned on me: the Vonage router, which has always been at least as much trouble as it's worth. I took it out of the loop, even more than it usually is, and voilà . . . no connectivity problem.
I wish I had thought of that *before* I replaced my trusty Motorola with a newer model, but I don't mind telling you, I feel like a rocket scientist. Mercury may finally be direct in my world. :)
I cast ballot 427 in my precinct just a few minutes ago. 4+2+7=13/Death, Transformation, Rebirth. Woo hoo!
I tried to go at 6:30 this morning before work, but it was the standard Chicago Board of Elections chaotic mess (picture infirm octogenarians completely dumbfounded by technology) coupled with fifty very angry people in line *ahead* of me, which was quite unusual. Usually when I go at that hour, it's just me and the elderly election judges. I decided that I didn't want to start my day with that melee.
I went home and signed onto Facebook again while I had coffee. I found a video that used "One Day More" from Les Misérables to make a comparison between Barack Obama's campaign and the Communards (the revolutionaries, not the 80's pop band). Then I found a lot of them on Youtube. Am I the only American citizen who knows how the Paris Commune worked out? I certainly expect much greater and more durable successes from--dare I say it--President Obama.
When I went back after work, I ran the gauntlet of "activists" outside the polling place, and one nitwit from the Illinois Citizens Coalition called me a racist because I told her I wasn't willing to risk my pension in a state constitutional convention.
I finally got inside and was able to vote my values rather than my fears for the first time in years. It was a great day.
Some of my friends are going downtown to hang out near Grant Park, but I live in a city where people riot in the streets if the local NBA team wins a game, and the police are unprofessional and unaccountable for their behavior. I've been in riots and been tear gassed. I could live out the rest of my days quite happily without repeating either of those experiences, and I certainly would be happy to forgo being on the business end of a Taser. I wish Rich Daley had had the stones to say no to Obama's Victory Rally.
A witch I know sent me the quoted text. As I read it, the old Duran
Duran song, New Moon On Monday, came to mind. I jumped to youtube to
walk down memory lane, and it was frighteningly similar to current
events in the USA. Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mY3iQGkjy
Read the letter, and work the magic if you feel called. FYI, by my
calculations, the nighttime hour of Jupiter today is from 10:42-11:42
CDT.
Here's the letter:
"beloved -
You have received this letter today because you were chosen, due to your life qualifications and beliefs, to have the opportunity to participate in this upcoming election in a manner possibly more important that the act of voting itself. There is an undercurrent of energy pulsating through our country that will culminate on November 4th, Election Day, that needs to be tapped into - this need and desire for change from the way business/government is now handled. But unfortunately if this election is anything like it has been in the past, the results do NOT always reflect the will of the people. Due to the unscrupulous actions of some, the will of the people has become manipulated for the benefit of a few, which has led us to our current state of decay. This necessity to act on the current state of affairs has led this project to manifest itself. You are familiar with energy work, and excel at meditation/ritual work. This project deals on that plane of reality and existence. You were chosen because of your work with ENERGY. One focus of this meditation/ritual is to create a picture in your minds eye, which was created exclusively for this purpose-an outline of our country The United States of America, with the flag inside and a symbol of a lightening bolt right on Washington DC. Surrounding the perimeters is the phrase, "The Will Of The People", which is the Mantra is this ritual. Pictorially, it symbolizes the outcome to be bound to the will of the CITIZENS, those who vote and those who have been disenfranchised. More the ENERGY of the citizens, not just the votes themselves, since we all know that even a legitimate vote doesn't necessarily count. The timing of this ritual is congruent to the phases of the moon during this next month. On Sept 29th at 4:12 AM (Eastern Time) is the NEW moon, the beginning of a NEW phase. This new moon is in the sign of Libra, which deals with justice, balance, harmony and harmonious relationships. Working with that Libra energy, it is beneficial to meditate on the balance/harmony that is needed for our country to heal from the extremist takeover of the last 8 years. Harmonious relationships are desperately needed for our planet to recover, with cooperation and balance, in order for this country to be prevented from being damaged beyond repair. Since the NEW moon is at 4:12 AM, it is BEST to work the ritual AFTER that time, with the beginning of the energy cycle underway. If you are familiar with working with planetary hours, it is suggested that you work within the planetary hour of JUPITER for this ritual, which corresponds to justice.The second part of this project is on the FULL moon, Oct. 14th at 3:02 PM (Eastern Time). That is when you have a climax of the energy that was initiated at the beginning of the waxing cycle. That particular FULL moon is in the sign of ARIES, ruled by the planet of Mars. Its energy deals with protection, action and initiating fighting injustices and being a warrior for TRUTH. Since the minute of climax is 3:02 PM, it is best to have all you energy work completed BEFORE that time. If working with the planetary hours, choose the planetary hour of MARS for action and energy. Don't be alarmed by the fact that Mercury will be retrograde at this time – according to many notable astrologers, anytime a planet is retrograde, the energy is more internalized, so that is actually very beneficial for our purposes here. Mercury retrograde times are good for any of the "re" words: rethink, revise, re-do… reinterpret… reorganize…perhaps many "on the fence" can rethink their position, and make more informed choices after searching their souls? The most central aspect of this project is the image. It enables everyone to utilize it in ways they feel COMFORTABLE with, and using their own methods. There is no dictating how to perform your rituals. Nobody is telling you how to raise energy or meditate. It is an individual choice how you raise your energy. It is also understood that practical situations also come into play. If you can't get the time to raise energy in an ideal manner, you can meditate on the image and chant the mantra, "The Will of the People, So Mote It Be", anywhere you are and give your intentions to the universe in a more informal way. Sincerity can go a long way when formality is impossible. (Words of wisdom I was given during meditation: When making great transitions, it is best to use less energy than to blow the house apart. Less is more.) So…that's it. What do you think? Any ideas? If you have any question, please contact me or discuss it amongst yourselves. Concerning how you raise energy…there is no right or wrong. Creativity is encouraged. Just focus on the collective energy and chant, chant, chant. It may be the best chance you have to make your voice really heard. Obviously, and sadly, down here, no one in charge is listening. It's time for us to change that, collectively, with the strength of will, courage, and vision.
Good Luck To Us All,
America's Underground Street Team"
On a particularly hateful day a couple weeks ago, a McIntosh apple from the cafeteria found its way onto my lunch plate. I hadn't had one in a while, and it was glorious to be ten years old again, if only for five minutes. Ever since, I've been looking for Michigan-grown McIntosh apples with no success. Today I found some at the farmers' market, and they were organic to boot.
I'm as happy as Idunna. :)
Yesterday was a non-attendance day for students so that the teachers could have time to develop professionally. My school uses this day to discover Chicago-area resources that most of our students haven't seen. Then we discuss how me might make a multi-disciplinary field-trip destination out of them. Yesterday we visited Garfield Park Conservatory, which is spectacular. http://www.garfield-conservatory.org/
I was with two of my colleagues when we happened upon the labyrinth in one of the gardens. I have been here a bunch of times but never realized it was even there. One of them had been to the cathedral at Chartres and knew what to do immediately. http://www.lessons4living.com/chartres_l
The other wasn't sure of the difference between a labyrinth and a maze, so I explained that a labyrinth had only one way in and one way out and that there were no false turns or dead ends.
They chatted constantly as we walked. They are teachers after all. One asked what the point was. My answer was that it's about the journey rather than the destination. That was my first pearl of wisdom. It occurred to me then whatever happened with my position, in the classroom, out of the classroom, in the hellish snake-pit school on the west side (like I dreamt the night before), it would be fine.
My two colleagues, who are around the same age and both native Chicagoans but are usually completely opposed to each other's point of view, reminisced about celebrating Easter in Chicago during their childhood. A lovely bonding moment for two women who are usually most adversarial.
My advice: walk a labyrinth, darlings.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIOD5X68l
Sounds like a challenge to me. Who's in?
Noun | 1. | act of terrorism - the calculated use of violence (or the threat of violence) against civilians in order to attain goals that are political or religious or ideological in nature; this is done through intimidation or coercion or instilling fear |
I got home a few minutes ago and received an email that my Chicago Card, the smart card that I use to pay for my monthly transit pass, had been deactivated. It's a neat system, when it works: my smart card is linked to a credit card, so every month my smart card automatically reloads with a new monthly pass. Unfortunately, I just had to replace my original smart card, which expired, with a new smart card, but my credit card info must not have made the transfer. A system that's broke but doesn't collect money I'm glad to pay? Really? I find it particularly annoying that the deactivation and the notification email occurred at 11pm when the customer service hours are 7am-8pm. I might have been stranded somewhere on this unseasonably cool and rainy night. Grrrrr!
I am very sorry to say that this is extremely typical for the CTA. It's usually mismanaged by one of Rich Daley's political appointees and seems completely incapable of getting a bus or a train anywhere in a timely, organized and predictable fashion, The only thing that I heard people complain about consistently during the Gay Games a few years ago was the horribly erratic service on the CTA; nevertheless, Mayor Daley thinks we should host the Games of the XXXI Olympiad in 2016. It's insane.
Yes, yes, I know we could fix everything that's wrong with the CTA and build stadiums to outdo Beijing's while we're at it by raising property taxes high enough, but entertaining guests from out of town is *not* how I would want to spend that amount of money.
Best of luck to Madrid, Tokyo and Rio--anywhere but here in 2016!
"Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives."
and
"In this age, the man who dares to think for himself and act independently does a service to his race."
He was born August 4, 1961, which I believe makes him an Aeon-Priestess in an Emperor year of an Emperor cycle.
Maybe I've been too hasty and there is some basis for the "change" platform.
Discuss.
As I walked home, I happened across a group of my students who had gotten their first parking tickets at the Broadway Armory. I explained how to figure out the fine, where to pay the fine, that parking tickets don't find their way to your driving record and showed them how they should have paid at the lot box to avoid a parking ticket. Welcome to driving in Chicago, kids.
"Dear Ms. Schakowsky:
Have you seen this? http://www.kare11.com/video/player.aspx?a
The police officer with the Taser belongs in prison, not on any municipality's payroll and certainly never in law enforcement again.
First, there needs to be investigation (and ideally prosecution) at the federal level of the gross police misconduct that has occurred during this convention in Minneapolis/St. Paul.
Second, there needs to be federal legislation, if none already exists, with razor-sharp teeth that includes mandatory prison terms for law enforcement officers who abuse Tasers.
I trust that you will not sit on your hands during this. Please do not disappoint me."
The truth is the Dems generally have been pretty close to useless the last eight years because doing the right thing hasn't fit their greater political strategy, which is one of many reservations I have about voting for Senator Obama. I'm pretty sure Ms. Schakowsky will indeed sit on her hands and disappoint me.
I know someone will jump up and say, "Well, Shaman, it's not really a federal issue anyway because . . . . " Spare me that, okay?
What I did do that made me feel at least a little better was contact St. Paul mayor, Chris Coleman, (651-266-8510 if you're interested). I put on my Virgo/Capricorn reasonable hat before I called. I mentioned the video to whomever I was actually speaking to, who sounded tired and exasperated when he realized what I was calling about. I told him that I was horrified, that St. Paul was a lovely city with lots going for it, that it was not Tel Aviv or Lagos or Jeddah and very calmly insisted that his police force stop targeting protesters, abusing prisoners and confiscating property without due process of law. After categorically denying the basis of all my accusations, his main question seemed to be whether I was a constituent or not, since that's where his bread is buttered at the end of the day. I confessed that I lived in Chicago, but I added that I am a member of a half dozen professional organizations, including the American Federation of Teachers and the American Council on the Teaching of Foreign Languages, both of which have huge conventions that I would make it my business to steer away from St. Paul. What else could I hold over him? It's not like I go there for the balmy winters. One pin prick for justice.
I will tell you that he didn't seem at all concerned that ACTFL might choose somewhere else to discuss the best way to teach verb conjugation, but then he probably had bigger fish to fry yesterday. He might even have been relieved at the loss of convention business, although I'm fairly sure that Starhawk and the Pagan Cluster have never protested the AFT.
I am breathing, I am open, I am willing,
I am stepping out into the unknown,
I am walking, though uncertain, I am willing,
To listen to the yearning of my soul . . . .
After the end of student registration, I cleaned out my desks in my classroom and the faculty office today. I gave the classroom supplies that I will no longer need to the new teachers, and I moved what was left into the new dean’s office, all of which was much easier than I thought it would be. :-)
All in all, it was quite a birthday.
